Do you emerge from a teacher interview feeling like you have been judged as a good parent or a not good enough parent?
We are so connected to our children and we want the best for them. We also want them to keep up with whatever learning is taking place at school. No matter what we do, we cannot fully determine how they do at school. You might take them to catch-up classes in reading or maths or learning, or to other extra-curricula activities. You might help them with homework. Maybe you do some extra work with them. And even then, your child does not reach a standard in an area.
Feeling the pressure? Awful, isn't it. Judging yourself? It's hard not too. It's like your child is part of you, and any perceived judgement is aimed straight at you. Criticising yourself? Letting the child know about it?
Please know, that you have been doing your best. You love your child. And you might say that your best is not good enough and therefore you are not good enough. It's easy to get into this way of thinking.
You want the best for your child. The teacher wants the best too. He or she wants your child to learn effectively and easily. They are doing their best, though may not be able or have the time to really understand your child's learning needs.
Regardless, the standards are not of your child's teacher's making. Can every child really reach the same standard? I heard a politician say that the education emphasis is on achievement and standards are part of that. Really? Does not make sense to me. Children are individuals. They are not the same. How can they reach the same standard as everyone else in all areas? If a teacher is teaching to the standards only, they are doing a disservice to children. The world needs people who are themselves - confident in how they are and understanding of the way they learn and function. What sort of world will it be if people strive to reach an imposed standard, without considering the expansiveness of developing creativity and problem solving? Think about the wider picture. The standards are the current thing in education. Fast forward a few years and it will be something else. Standards are not the be-all and end-all. If your child is behind a standard in an area of learning, then don't take on responsibility to fix it. It is the teacher's job to figure out ways to improve a child's learning. Ask what they are going to do about it. The teacher is the teacher. You are the parent.
So YOU....the parent of a child. Celebrate all aspects of your child's learning and stop trying to make him or her catch up in all areas. Catch up to what? Celebrate your child, advocate for your child in the system, be strong and know that your best will be best. And toss that judgement stuff out the window.